Coffee or Tea for you? - The truth about Cabin Crew

"They're just a bunch of trolley dolly!"

"All they know is 'Coffee or tea for you sir?' - that's basically it!"

"They're all aftering the glamour part of it, especially those stewardesses - looking for some big shots up there in the sky..."

"Cabin crew? Ala - keje senang je, gaji beribu..."

"Diaorang tu, most of them, belagak nak mampos. Walhal bukannye bagus sangat pun keje cabin crew tu..."

"Cabin crew, who???"

Those are the well-known expressions when it comes to the word, 'Cabin crew'. True, different people, different perception. Lain org lain ragamnye, itiew mek dinch boleh propah. Memang kalau A nampak B, we can't expect C nampak B also, right? C could nampak D, E or F for that matter. But here mek would like to go indepth about the profession; the truth behind the name, CABIN CREW.

Cabin crew, anak2 kapal, pramugara/pramugari, flight stewards/stewardess/ cabin attendant - semua sama aje tu nyeh- mark different spellings jers. Who are these people, yang bertitle cabin crew itiew??

The real issue here, cabin crew, dari konteks keselamatan, yang telah dijelaskan oleh DCA *Department of Civil Aviation- is... crew, is to ensure the SAFETY of the flight and its content, ie. PASSENGERS. They are the ones yang ensuring your SAFETY from point A to point B. SERVING/ and ensuring pax. comfort, IS by far, the SECOND job spec of a crew. We don't care if we don't serve you meal, AS LONG AS we get you SAFELY from A to B, that's all matters to us. Tapi service pun, also, penting lah. Bukannye tak penting pun. Bukannye macam nak ensure safety of the pax and a safer flight, kami dinch buat service. Haiyoh! Habistiew, kalau dah London flight 14 hours, punye laaa taksub nak jaga safety passenger, dan senantiasa berwaspada dan on alert for that 14hours straight, sampai tak buat service - tak ke lapar namanye menusia2 dlm flight itiew? Ehehehe - that's why we have safety procedures and also SERVICE procedures.

You see, without us, no doubt, tak der nye service atas flight tu. Have KL-London flight, 14 hours, non-stop, tanpa us, crew, nyeh, can passengers survive? Without us, toilet yang baru lepas digunakan oleh another pax sampai basah2 kuyup nih cermin dlm toilet tu and the toilet bowl penuh dengan toilet rolls, nyeh - tak akan clean dan kering dan senantiasa berbau segar with air freshner punye toilet itiew! Without us, there won't be any inflight entertainment and attending to your needs, and most of all - without us, when it comes to safety and emergency, THAT'S IT! Innalillah! Tak jugak mek bermaksud kalau ade kami nih crew dlm flight itiew, dan kalau ade emergencies, pax akan 100% selamat. Nyeh, kalau dah namanye takdir, kalau flight tu crash SEMUA hidup, hidup jugak. Kalau ditakdirkan tak crash pun, semuanye nak meletop atas udara itiew, nak jadi, JADIK jugak ok! Cuma what am trying to say here is that dengan adenye crew, at least, ade some jaminan as we undergo trainings and also buat refresher classes and exams all year round gittu. So dlm kepala otak crew sebenarnye, memang lah dok nak think about service procedures. But bare in mind ladies and gents, babies and elephants, noticed how we go silent during take off and landing??? Sbb otak kite orang tgh do SILENT REVIEW - should anything goes wrong with the take off and landing, kitaorang dah tahu the evacuation commands and the things to do, tak der lah cuak.

You see, as much as we need pax. for our flights, that's how much pax rely on us crew also. So tanggapan2 masyarakat yang negative2 nih, mek try nak ubahkan slow2 dlm entry nih. Walaupun mek hanye sekarang bergelar ex-crew, mek tetap berpendapat bahawa tanggapan2 sesetengah masyarakat on crew, harus diubah. The things that ppl labeled us with, and etc. - semue itiew has got to stop! STOP right now! Thank you very much. I need someone with a human touch. Hey you, always on the run, gotta slow it down, bla bla bla - dahhhh menyanyi la pulak.... hehehehe

Kadang2 sedeh tau mentality menusia, but mek nak buat cam mano dek non! Mulot tempayan leh ditutup itiew, but mulut menusia? Addinch!

Memang tak dapat dinafikan kitaorang gaji beribu2 - ade sesetengah tu University grad, fresh nih, start keje dengan one company - tapi gaji? Boleh lawan ke dengan, erm, lets say, SPM holder jer. Joined crew, boom! Lepas fly 3 4 bulan, even buat domestic, gaji pun dah leh jangkau RM2500. Mampu? Tak mampu kot deknon nak bersaing. Hehehehe. Tapi don't get us wrong here. You think it's easy working as a flight crew?

We go intensive training for nearly 3 months. Dalam that 3 months, we learned SAFETY, we learned FIRST AID, we do service procedures, we do grooming classes *Yes, grooming classes, kalau adik2, very the suke onez... sbb dpt free facial! Ekeke- Lancome lagi tau!* We do interpersonal skills, very the PR PR PR thingie. Hospitality management, fine dining etiquettes, service in FIRST CLASS mode - and stuff. All that in 3 months. We also learned DCA regulations, do aircrafts and aiport visits - macam macam lah. Semua dalam 3 months. And dalam three months itiew, we had to sit for exams ok. And the exams I tell you, kalau u just pikir kacang putih, THINK again! Susah ok! Fail once, buat again. Fail twice, possible u kena join the NEXT class after your class. FAIL kali KETIGA - THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUT! Tapi MAS tak der lah kejam sangat - kalau you ols mampu buat rayuan, sep lah. Kalau idak, selamat la ko membayar duit bond, gatirugi for resigning or diresignkan sebelum habis tamat tempoh bond, 18 bulan. Berape? Ade ade adeeeeeeeeee lah itiew, but I tell you, bukannye sikit jumlah itiew... Mujur mek lepas, passed my exams with flying colours. And kalau u ols fikir, tak per. MAS, company Malaysia - so mesti pentingkan BM dari English - SALAH again! Courses are conducted 100% in English, sundel!!! Berterabur jugak mek jadiknye.

And who says you need not to be a good swimmer to jadik crew? Nak tak nak - bermake up ke idak - pandai ke idak - when it comes to safety class, wet drill- ha, terjun la korang dalam the Malaysia Airlines Academy indoor training pool! Dalam sundel!!! Ehehehe - mujur mek ala ala pandai kuak kupu kupu itiew... ehehe- nak save manusia pun tetap nak kupu kupu nih!!! Ehehe

Dah dah - serious balik. Mek dah start melalut memondankan diri pulak itiew. So you see, bukan senang jadi crew nih. So berbaloi la with us gaji macam tu. Tu baru I talk about trainings and the actual job spec/responsibilities dalam flight. Belum lagi bab KERENAH manusia yang we have to go through as a crew. Kena short fligts ok lah.. like, Hello, welcome on board - and then boom! 50 minutes later, Thank You and have a nice day ya! See ya!... Ehehehe. Tu tak per jugak. Nih kalau KL - Paris, 14 hours, HOW!?!?!?! Haiyoh - mek can cry sundel kalau dapat pax yang ala ala suke menensionkan mek. See, even when it comes to serving pax, we can get tension tau. Org cakap, ala - steward/crew, sama jer dengan waiter2 itiew di restoran2 itiew. Addinch. Do pelayan2 kat hotel2 itiew dapat gaji beribu? Dinch. Do pelayan2 itiew dapat to work and sampai at point B and then berjalan2 kat point B, shopping, itiew semue? DINCH! Dapat ke pelayan2 itiew serve manusia at 45 000' Feet above see level???? DINCH! But we crew, we get that chance, almost everyday!

Tapi, tension jugak kadang2 jadi crew. Tension sesama crew, tak yah cakap lah. Problematic collegues nih mana2 pun ade. Tension dengan penumpang who paid more than RM20,000 for his First Class sear KL to New York - haiyoh... itu LAIN ok! Fussy manusia yang keluarkan duit beribu2 itiew, lain sundel!

Scene: KUL - on route to AMS. Me working in First Class onboard MH16, B747. It was a night departure, landing early morning in AMS. After take off ex KUL, first meal service was Supper. The 3 to 4 hours prior to landing in AMS, Breakfast service. So there was only 2 passengers in First class, 2 seats out of 16. Happy kan? WRONG! This one lady, one of the two pax, after the fussy-all-about-fine-dining-you'rewrong-I'mright Supper service, called me...

"Please take down this as a note. I do not wish you to come back to me, asking me nonsense questions... 1- I do not wish to be disturbed until 3 hours before landing. Landing is at *for example* 6am, correct? So the breakfast service is at...?

"4am, madam..."

"Correct - now. I would like my hot-wake-up towel, less colonge pls, at 4:10am. My 1st coffee, freshly brewed, at 4.15am. Skip your service procedures, bring me my bread selections, at 4.20am. Bring along strawberry jams and marmalades, only, no butters pls. Then I expect my coffee to be refilled, in a new cup, a minute or two after u served me my bread selections - any questions so far???"

"No, madam..." Dalam hati aku, TUHAN jer lah tahu!!! SIALLLLL!!! DEMANDING NAK MAMPOS!!!

"Nevermind my main course, I would like a plate of fresh fruits and then with my cereals - oh, and I would like my yogurt as well. Then only, say after 15 minutes, pls, bring my maincourse... bla bla bla... bla bla bla"

HA! Jawab sikit!? Nampak cam leh handle kan? Cuba kite pusingkan waktu, and you take my position - sakit hati sundel! Really! Nampak mudah - tapi Tuhan jer tahu how we crew rase. Memang lah we wanted to work macam tu tapi perlu ke berattitude sebegitiew, just becoz u paid that kind of money for your flight? I mean - I know WE crew cant complaint tapi ini just luahan rasa hati mek - not on behalf of the rest. I'm only human - u also human. Takkan lah tak leh be considerate langsung? Sentap tau. Tapi sentap tak lama - selepas dia dah mula berdengkur, mek bahagia sangat - walaupun buat seketika. Ekekek.

And another thing about jadi crew nih, best, tak tension sbb no work to be brought back home. Not unless you're still doin' classes and itu, memang lah. You kena study study study. Tapi bile dah jadi online crew, adddinch homework, less stress.

Seperti kata Abang Z in London - Walaupun pada dasarnye nampak keje kami nih macam - just tuang air dlm tumbler and "Orange juice for you sir?" "Madam - juice for you???" Tapi, heehh - hear this. Tak dernye kami tuang air itiew, dahaga lah u ols. Tanpa kami buat juice service KUL - Langkawi itiew, incomplete lah flight MAS. Dan tanpa layanan mesra kami - ehehehe - nama Malaysia tak naik la as having the best airline crew in the world, ok! 4 tahun berturut2 ok. LOL!

Despite having a grand-figure pay, and also a well-to-do image, as a flight crew, truly, tak ramai sedar, how susahnya we work up there. Mind me saying this - we worked like mad-dogs on certain rushing flight. Imagine - KUL-Kuching, Operate with B737-400. Pax capacity 144seats, *128seats in economy with 3 crew - 16seats in business class with 2 crew* - flight time 1h 40m. Flight time is from the aircraft started moving and until in lands in Kuching, and comes to a complete stop. So minus the take off and landing, minus the climbingand decending... so we could only see around an hour of service? MEAL service ok KUL-KCH - and that is, kalau crew slow, memang akan jadi rushing gile. I'm talking about Economy here. Why crew slow? Possible reasons:
-Ovens yang nak heat the meals - one of the 5 in economy, kaput. So nak kena transfer meals ke dlm over yang sudah heat up meals lain, satu hal pulak. Then nak tunggu meals tu ready pulak before do the loading on tray and into the meal carts, sepasal pulak. Kenapa tak check servicibility of the ovens on ground? Pernah tak dgr, machinaries leh rosak SUDDENLY? Ehehe
-Pax demanding mintak tu mintak nih. Hello? Flight short flight cam tu, be reasonable lah sikit. Kitaorang dengan nak serve korang lagi, dengan nak attend to itu ini lagi, ade lagik time nak mintak pen la itu la ini la. For me, as a human being, kalau dah nampak kami crew sebok, kami tak kacau. Walaupun pax ade every rights nak mintak itu ini. Tapi bile kami cakap, "we'll get back to you after the meal-service" terus nak tarik muka, ape kes???

So you see - as much as kiteorang crew nak maintain that high-expectations to the titles we've earned, memang kena kerje giler babeng. What to do - namanye KERJE.

Apa lagik mek nak merepek? Abang Z - have I left out anything? Ah yes...

Ade yang yang mengatakan kami keje crew ini semata2 glamour. Nyeh - TAK DER MAKNENYE GLAMORITTANYA KEJE NIH!!!!. Keje CUCI JAMBAN pun kena buat tau! Clean up ppls' shit - muntah - diapers baby yang ade itiew bende2 busyuk itiew... eeww! Glamour ke itiew???? Dinch - that's what I call - KERJA! dan BUKAN KEJAR-GLAMOUR. No doubt ade antara crew2 kita gunakan keje nih as batu loncatan nak mara ke depan - kawin dengan big-shots ka, jumpa kameraman dan terus diamik jadi model lah, jadi artist lah - itu rezeki memasing. Tapi - pls note, the work, memang susah - memang mencabar, and above all - dari mulut mek sendiri, TAK SEMUA ORG SANGGUP CUCI JAMBAN TAU! Hehe. Mek hobby lagi ok! Sbb bile dlm toilet tu for 15 minutes kaedahnye nak mencuci la... cucinye 5 minit, 5 minit mek buat transaksi urusniaga - 5 minit lagik mek go-girl-touch-up! Eheheheehehehehehe

Uihs - panjang nih. Nanti lah mek ade idea lain mek sambung! Nyeh dah 8:57am - Katanye nak gi keje by 9am? Mandi pun belum! CHIT! See ya later2 nah!!!

Sincere regards, with best wishes,

Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah - Ex Crew MAS